“Oh,” she says.
Her eyes are glazed, like those of a bored house cat. He had a cat once. Fucking hated it. But it’s not hate he feels now. It’s more like his body is buried under snow in the north pole, his head sticking out, like a mole, being torn to pieces by a polar bear. With penguins watching.
Cold, that’s how he feels.
“Eh, uh, oh,” she says, her head shaking like a dog drying off. “No, I mean—” she clears her throat, and her eyes look at him with a steely certainty, composure regained: "No."
She walks away. He can’t hear the click-clack of her heels on the floor. Maybe it’s because he’s thinking about the fact that she should’ve been wearing the ring by now. Or maybe it’s because there are 23,500 people in the basketball arena who have just released a collective gasp, followed by a worried murmur. In the overhead monitor, a pink heart frames the solitary man with the ring in his hand. The caption under the heart: "CONGRATULATIONS!" The woman walks away from the frame, her hand over her eyes and her eyes cast down, her feet awkward on their heels.
She walks away. He can’t hear the click-clack of her heels on the floor. Maybe it’s because he’s thinking about the fact that she should’ve been wearing the ring by now. Or maybe it’s because there are 23,500 people in the basketball arena who have just released a collective gasp, followed by a worried murmur. In the overhead monitor, a pink heart frames the solitary man with the ring in his hand. The caption under the heart: "CONGRATULATIONS!" The woman walks away from the frame, her hand over her eyes and her eyes cast down, her feet awkward on their heels.
He finds it in him to pursue her, walking behind her with the clumsy strides of a duck. “Jen,” he whimpers, over the burgeoning, bleating crowd-noise.
"I got pop-corn, I got beer, I got everything, hear hear!"
"I got pop-corn, I got beer, I got everything, hear hear!"
Within the crowd, someone is laughing. The man with the ring in his hand hears it over the cacophony and the stereo and the pop-corn and the boom box. It’s not cold he feels now. Now it’s like his dick is falling off of him.
He can see the headline. Pre-game show highlights: man’s penis falls off before stunned crowd. Referees pick up scrotum shreds.
He stops, looks at the stadium crowd around him, and feeling the urge of politeness or a surge of weight, holds out his hand to them, the one that doesn’t hold the ring, with the index finger up, as if saying, shush, shush, mommy and daddy are talking.
“I’LL BE RIGHT BACK,” he shouts. “OKAY JUST A MINUTE.”
Then he walks off the court, leaving it empty and lit.
On the sidelines, the man wearing the jersey (home team, yellow, number 45) wipes his face. “Romeo motherfucker got the raw deal,” he says. Coach, standing up, arms crossed, shakes his head and bites his tongue. Number 45 shakes his head too: “Juliet be trippin, man.”
In the crowd, a man continues laughing. He is still laughing when home team loses later that night; and it’s maybe his laughter that bounces off the alley walls when in the black hours of morning a beggar finds a 14 karat ring in the dumpster behind Cheng's, the Chinese joint.
Great timing on the setting. Great flow.
ReplyDeleteMy absolute favorite part of this, aside from the title, which is fantastic, is "With penguins watching." It sounds so ludicrously ominous. BEWARE THE PENGUINS. THEY WATCH.
ReplyDeleteThis is sad and funny at the same time. Wonderful. You captured all the elements of a truly embarrassing and upsetting moment.
ReplyDelete"He can see the headline. Pre-game show highlights: man’s penis falls off before stunned crowd. Referees pick up scrotum shreds."
This made me laugh out loud.
Absurdist modernization of the love story in which Juliet stands Romeo up in front of the gathered crowd. More likely Juliet had the cat and he hated it (why would he have a cat if he hated it?). And he simply hated it (fucking hated it is too much, waters down the impact of the title). This needs just some fine tuning. Let us follow the ring, establish that he has it up front, and establish the setting there too (unless we know he's in a basketball arena, we're inclined to actually see him on the north pole). Who's the laughing man? He gets the last laugh). And where does Romeo go? We assume he tosses the ring, but this all happens off stage and number 45 (Kobe?) has the last word. I'm also wondering about the Montagues and the Capulets--are the families still players in this drama? Lakers fans and Clipper fans maybe?
ReplyDeleteI love how, in this piece, the exact details are not explicitly stated ; instead, the reader's interpretation is left up to the title (with the heavy implications of Romeo) and the concrete plot of the piece. We don't know who the character is, but we fill them with Romeo and Juliet and watch as the classic Shakespearean tale is inverted. Neat story.
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